We’re taught how to solve equations, diagram sentences, and write résumés.
We’re taught how to say no, how to be polite, how to stay safe.
But very few of us are ever taught how to experience pleasure.
Not perform it.
Not fake it.
Not fear it.
But feel it—honestly, fully, in our own bodies.
This is the invisible curriculum.
The things we were never taught but were expected to somehow know.
Especially when it comes to pleasure.
???? What We Were Taught Instead
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That pleasure is dangerous.
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That too much desire is shameful.
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That sex is either taboo or transactional.
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That your worth is tied to your attractiveness, not your experience of joy.
And often, the loudest lessons were taught in silence—
Through the things adults didn’t say,
The questions they didn’t answer,
The awkward pauses that told us more than words ever could.
???? Why This Matters
When we grow up without a healthy language for pleasure, we learn to:
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Disassociate from our bodies
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Prioritize performance over presence
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Feel guilt instead of gratitude for sensation
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Confuse validation with intimacy
And when pleasure becomes something we chase for approval or numbness—not connection—we lose its healing potential.
???? So, What Should We Have Been Taught?
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That pleasure is a human right, not a reward.
You don’t need to earn your joy. It belongs to you by birth. -
That pleasure is more than sex.
It’s breath, stretch, taste, music, laughter, rest, sunlight.
It’s being in your body, not just using it. -
That presence is the prerequisite.
You can’t feel if you’re not here.
Slowness, curiosity, and safety are what awaken sensation—not pressure or performance. -
That communication is part of the experience.
Asking, naming, changing your mind—this is what makes consent alive and embodied. -
That trauma can interrupt pleasure—but it can also be healed through it.
With patience, safety, and support, the nervous system can learn that joy is not a threat.
????️ Relearning the Lessons We Never Got
Pleasure is a skill. A language.
And like any language, we can return to it—even if we never learned it fluently.
Try:
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Sensory exploration without goals: touch, texture, taste.
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Mindful breathwork during moments of tension or intimacy.
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Journaling with prompts like: “What feels good to me, and how do I know?”
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Noticing the first moment guilt creeps in—and gently asking why.
???? Final Thought: We Were Never Supposed to Learn This Alone
Pleasure was never meant to be a mystery.
It was meant to be modeled, spoken, shared.
But most of us are piecing it together on our own—quietly, awkwardly, tenderly.
And that’s okay.
Because reclaiming pleasure isn’t about knowing it all.
It’s about coming home to what your body already knew—before the world told you to forget
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